[[Theme music "Medusa" plays]]

 

Isolde: Hey, are you coming or am I in charge of the radio now?

 

Pandora: [her voice is distant] Yeah, Isolde, just a-- Hey! Hey, you! Are you following me? ...if you have something to say you better say-- or just run away! Yeah, do that again! Real smooth! [growls]

 

Isolde: What was that?

 

Pandora: This guy has been showing up wherever I am and lurking around like he wants my attention, but whenever I call him out he skulks off!

 

Isolde: Who is he?

 

Pandora: Well, we've never been formally introduced, but I think his name is Hades.

​

Isolde: What's he look like?

​

Pandora: Ummm like an old movie's worst interpretation of an art student with lots of emotions.

​

Isolde: Yeah, that's Hades. What do you think he wants?

​

Pandora: I can't even guess. If he wants to be on the radio, he's going about it all wrong.

​

Isolde: Has he been doing this for awhile?

​

Pandora: Well, I noticed it like three days ago, but I remember Arthur saying that Hades was at the Junior Party last week and he thought it was really weird to see him there. So maybe that was part of it and I just wasn't paying attention. He could have been doing this for weeks for all I know. Does he have a history of this sort of thing?

​

Isolde: I dunno. It's not like I'm buddies with Hades. ...You know, I heard a rumor once that he's actually Zeus’s brother.

 

Pandora: What? How can that be a rumor?

​

Isolde: What do you mean “how can that be a rumor”? The same way anything is a rumor.

​

Pandora: I mean, rumors are like when two people are hooking up or distantly related or something. It seems like it's pretty easy to prove if people are brothers or not.

​

Isolde: Do you have the answer?

​

Pandora: ...no

​

Isolde: A rumor’s a rumor.

​

Pandora: They...don't look alike. At all.

​

Isolde: Hey, it’s just what I heard.

​

Pandora: Do you know anything about him that’s for sure? Something that's not a rumor?

​

Isolde: Ok, the only thing I know is that those rumors are the only thing worth knowing about him. He has some creepy powers and he’s all sulky and serious, so everyone gives him a wide berth. I also know that he is the only college student in the world that owns a three piece suit.  

​

Pandora: What qualifies as “creepy powers” around here?

​

Isolde: If I knew, I would tell you, I promise....Do you need to tell security he's bothering you?

​

Pandora: ...no, no, I don't think so. I don't feel in danger or anything, I just think he wants something but I sure as hell can't tell you what it is. I’m not even convinced he knows....Let's talk about something else. This is giving me a headache.

​

Isolde: Ok. I’ll ask the people at The Mighty Pen if they know anything else when I stop by today. They might have more info since most of them are sophomores, too.

 

Pandora: Do you work at The Mighty Pen?

​

Isolde: Nah, I just hang out there sometimes. Arthur and I go way back. Fellow legacies. Go Titans.

​

Pandora: So I share custody of you, then?

​

Isolde: My affection isn't cheap, either.

​

Pandora: I’ll get you a pony next semester. Promise. 

 

Isolde: Niiice.

 

Pandora: Do you just go hang out while everyone is writing? Isn't that boring?

​

Isolde: I dunno, it’s fine.

​

Pandora: Do they even talk to each other when they’re working? I feel like sitting there while they’re all typing away would be like watching paint dry.

​

Isolde: Whatever. It doesn’t bother me.

​

Pandora: ...Are you being weird?

​

Isolde: I’m not!

​

Pandora: Yeeeeaah, you definitely are. This wasn’t intended to be weird. Why is this weird?

​

Isolde: It’s not! I just like hanging out with some of the people that work on The Mighty Pen. That is a normal thing to do when you have friends, you know.

 

Pandora: ...some of the people?

​

Isolde: I-- yeah, sure. [pause] What?

 

Pandora: You're blushing.

​

Isolde: I am not! Shut up!

​

Pandora: Isolde, do you have a crush on someone?

​

Isolde: I am about to hit you

​

Pandora: Ohhhh my god, you do! That explains everything! Awwwww, Izzy-- [Pandora makes a gagging noise] Did you just poke me in the throat??

​

Isolde: Don't talk to me like I'm a puppy!

​

Pandora: Why did you poke me in the throat?

​

Isolde: Next time, I’ll use four fingers.

​

Pandora: Ok, ok, I'm sorry! I was just teasing you, Izz. You know...it’s not a bad thing to like someone.

​

Isolde: You just want to know who it is.

​

Pandora: I really, really do.

​

Isolde: ...Is the microphone off?

​

Pandora: Yeah, I mean, the light’s off.

​

Isolde: [sighs] ...I'm only telling you this because I've never had someone to tell stupid secret stuff to before.

​

Pandora: OK, I'll take it.

​

Isolde: And if you tell anyone, I have a lot of good connections who know a lot of different ways to make people disappear.

​

Pandora: Yikes

​

Isolde: I'm just saying.

​

Pandora: This is the most high stakes crush ever.

 

Isolde: Stop calling it a crush that makes it feel so high school.

​

Pandora: Oh, ok, uh...love interest? [Isolde makes sound of disapproval] Paramour?

​

Isolde: Ok, alright, that's enough-- Nope, nope, we are going back to crush.

​

Pandora:  [laughing] Ok, thank you. So?

​

Isolde: ...Tristan.

​

Pandora: Oh! ...I don't know who that is.

​

Isolde: God, Pandora, really?

​

Pandora: I'm sorry!

 

Isolde: The one time you don't know someone? ...They’re a writer at The Mighty Pen. A newer one, by comparison to everyone else there. They just joined the end of last semester.

 

Pandora: Ok.

 

Isolde: They...aren't like me. At all. They are quiet and thoughtful and sensitive and...good.

 

Pandora: Isolde...

 

Isolde: And they come from a poor family, which my very not-poor family would lose their minds over.

 

Pandora: What? Isolde you've been hanging out with me for weeks. I'm here on full scholarship.

 

Isolde: And trust me, if my family knows that, which they probably do by now, they would not be happy. But they can't stop me from having friends. Pursuing any kind of relationship would be very different. Everything in my life has been controlled by someone else. I thought for sure that college would be a way out of that but it hasn't been. They find ways to control and monitor me even here.

 

Pandora: Huh...yeah, I, uh...I would not know how that feels.

 

Isolde: And Tristan...they don't deserve any of that. They don’t deserve to have my family come down on them for something they probably aren’t even a part of! For all I know, this is all one-sided and...and that’s fine. That’s...better. [laughs] I guess it is sort of a high stakes crush. I mean, in the end, it can't mean anything.

 

Pandora: ...I'm sorry I picked on you for it.

 

Isolde: Nah, I like when you do stupid stuff. That makes me feel like I'm halfway normal.

 

Pandora: Coulda kept that thought with you when you throat-punched me.

 

Isolde: Ok, it was a prod, at best. You're fine. Anyway, that’s my sad-sack story! OK, no pity face.

 

Pandora: I have a pity face?

 

Isolde: Everybody does, and I am not interested in seeing it. It’s...fine. Because it’s just the way things are. I'm only sometimes angry that it has to be this way. Mostly, I'm just happy that I can hang around Tristan when I can. They make me feel like...a better version of myself. Its nice.

 

Pandora: ...I'm sorry, Isolde.

 

Isolde: Aw, come on, don't make this a big deal--

 

Pandora: I won’t. I'll probably never mention it again which is why I feel like I should say now that you're bigger than all that crap you came from.

 

Isolde: Am I?

 

Pandora: Yeah. I mean, if you aren't, there sure as hell isn’t any hope for the rest of us.

 

Isolde: ...you're not going to tell me to follow my heart and just go for it?

 

Pandora: Ahh, no. Would it matter if I did?

 

Isolde: Well, it could lend itself to a slow build of resentment from knowing that you don't understand me. Real good third-act drama waiting to happen.

 

Pandora: [laughs] Sorry. I just...get what you’re saying. But, hey, if there’s ever a world where you think it might be worth a shot, I’ll...do what I can.

 

Isolde: ...be so awkward that I shine by comparison?

 

Pandora: Oh my god. [Isolde cackles] I’m so over you right now!

 

Isolde: Oh, come on! You love it! You love it. The school should really be paying you for this.

 

Pandora: For hanging out with you? Yeah, god knows someone should be paying me.

 

Isolde: No, no. You’ve kind of accidentally made this a place where people...where people are starting to come and dump their problems on you. You should start charging therapy prices.

 

Pandora: Yeah, that'll be ten bucks for me not having any advice or being able to help at all, thanks.

 

Isolde: OK, but you listen. Mount Olympus University is hardly known for cranking out graduates who can see anything outside of themselves. They don’t have a great track record of listeners. I know it’s weird, but...it helps. Feeling like someone can hear you.

 

Pandora: ...yeah, I...I get that, actually.

 

Isolde: ...but I won't be paying you, of course.

 

Pandora: Yeah, no, it would be silly since that money would be going right back to pay for your pony next semester.

 

Isolde: And I want it to be chestnut.

 

Pandora: Mmm alright, you’ll get what you get, kiddo.

 

Isolde: [laughs] Don’t you have a radio show to start?

 

Pandora: Oh, shoot. Yeah, guess I should do that. [clears throat] Ready?  

​

Isolde: Yeah.

​

[[SFX: Turns microphone on]]

​

Pandora: Hello, Mount Olympus University. Welcome to another show. We are back here with Isolde, who has held steadfastly to the ranks of top of class. [Isolde woops] But, besides that, she has proven to be a somewhat ok human being. Today, we are going--

 

[her voice fades out into the music]

​

[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]

​​

Raeanna Nicole Larson: Mount Olympus University is an original story conceived and written by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Sound editing done by the intrepid Luuk Van Hoomissen. Our icon was designed by the incomparable Jess Reed. Music by the industrious Teddy McKrell, whose works can be heard on soundcloud under teddymackerel.

​

The role of Pandora is played by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Isolde is played by Adriana Emiliana

​

You can send us an email at mtolympusuniversity@gmail.com, or find us on Twitter @MtOlympusU. Please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a comment to help more students find us. 

​

[["Medusa" fades out]]