Ep. 19 - ANTH142: Sociolinguistics
Aphrodite wants to confront Pandora's standoffish nature, but Pandora isn't too interested in talking about how she feels. At first.
[[Theme music "Medusa" plays]]
[[SFX: Door opens and immediately slams]]
Pandora: [taking some hurried breaths, pauses, then talks to herself] Okay...okay...I think I'm good. I don't think she saw me.
Aphrodite: Who saw you?
Pandora: [scared breathless] Aphrodite! What are you doing in here??
Aphrodite: You don't think who saw you?
Pandora: Uh...okay, Hera, actually. Things have been dicey since Zeus asked me out for the hundredth time as she was rounding the corner.
Aphrodite: Ooh dear. What did she say?
Pandora: Oh, I don't know. I didn't even answer, I just straight up ran away.
[An awkward pause]
Pandora: So what are you doing in here?
Aphrodite: I've just been waiting for you.
Pandora: Oh. Okay. [pause] I mean we do live together, you know.
Aphrodite: I know, but I figured this was a better place to corner you in.
Pandora: To...what now?
Aphrodite: Pandora, we are going to talk.
Pandora: About what?
Aphrodite: About why you're avoiding me!
Pandora: I'm not avoiding you.
Aphrodite: I’ve barely seen you for the last few days and we share a single bedroom! You're angry about something and you just won't talk about!
Pandora: Aphrodite, I haven't been avoiding you. Can we please talk later? I have things to do.
Aphrodite: What things?
Pandora: You know, like, radio stuff.
Aphrodite: Like what?
Aphrodite: See, excuses! This is what you do! Whenever I try to figure out why you're upset, you push me away! Tell me what is going on!
Pandora: Look, where I'm from, we don't talk. We let our woes fester until they melt into a sardonic worldview that we utilize to continue not talking about things. It's the only true Wordsworth inheritance we have.
Aphrodite: Well, right now, we’re here. Not wherever it is you come from.
Pandora: ...I’m from the midwest. I've told you this.
Aphrodite: Pandora, talk to me!
Pandora: I don't know what to tell you! There's nothing I want to talk about!
Aphrodite: [sound of frustration] You know, this is by far the worst thing about you! You just-- lie! You lie about your feelings and-- and who knows what else! You are a liar!
Pandora: Really? You want to yell at me for not being upfront? That's pretty bold considering you went behind my back to try and set up Hades as a trouble maker for no reason. Oh, oh and then, then you had Athena lie for you so you could pretend you weren't involved. So, yeah, you really want to pretend like you're the open book here?
Aphrodite: Uch, I knew Athena wouldn't be able to hold it together.
Pandora: Yeah, no duh, she’s the least discreet person on the planet! But you know what, great, you've caught me. I'm pissed at you.
Aphrodite: For what?
Pandora: For-- for being a jerk! For being so crappy about Hades! I get that I can't make you stop hating him because of the “laws of the land” or whatever you wanna call it, but I really didn't think you would stoop to trying to poison other people against him. Or me, for that matter.
Aphrodite: That's not fair.
Pandora: Oh! Oh, we’re talking about what's fair now? Because last I checked, being treated differently because of powers you didn't ask for isn't all that fair, either.
Aphrodite: Of course that’s what you think this is about! You are so obsessed with powers! Heavens forbid the amazing Hades never did anything wrong! He's not perfect, you know. I get that he's your new best friend, but he’s made mistakes just as much as anyone else here.
Aphrodite: Yeah! And also, I think that dog of his is rude, I don't care what you think about that...
Pandora: My new best friend?
Aphrodite: Well, isn't he?
Pandora: Is this.... Are you jealous?
Aphrodite: Ummmm, Hades has nothing that I need to be jealous of.
Pandora: Is that what this entire three-ring circus has been about? You being jealous that I'm spending time with someone else?
Aphrodite: No! [beat] Or...at least, not at first. I thought him being the patron of death was genuinely a bad thing because, I mean, hello? Death? But then when I warned you, you didn't freak out and instead you snapped at me for the first time ever.
Pandora: That was definitely not the first time. You're just really bad at most social cues.
Aphrodite: And that was when you started getting distant, all to hang out with Hades more. So I...I went to Athena to...you know. Help you!
Pandora: Because you were jealous.
Aphrodite: Jealousy is an ugly emotion and I don't do anything ugly, Pandora.
Aphrodite: You seem like you’re still mad.
Pandora: I mean, a little bit! I've been all freaked out and it was just because you were being petty!
Aphrodite: If you would have come to me with your concerns right away, maybe we could have figured it out together! I just-- I didn't know what to do because-- I don't have many friends. [Pandora scoffs] No, I'm being serious, Pandora! Since we started living together, how many people have you noticed that stick around, really?
Pandora: You see lots of people more than once.
Aphrodite: Yeah, romantically. I love people, and I love the relationships I have, but the life I've lead and the powers I wield have never left a lot of room for just...friends. That's the kind of love I'm not sure how to work with. A lot of people are at least a little in love with me, Pandora!
Aphrodite: So no, I never liked Hades, but I...I guess that's not entirely what this was all about. I didn't want him to take my best friend! My...only real friend.
Pandora: Aphrodite, you were never in danger of that! I pushed back because I didn't like how you were acting and...okay, yeah, that's on me for not confronting it. But you were the first person here who was even a little kind to me. I was never gonna stop being your friend!
Aphrodite: You've never actually said we were friends before.
Pandora: I...sure I have.
Aphrodite: Nope. I always said it and then you wouldn't say anything back.
Pandora: That's… [pause] Well, maybe I'm getting used to the friends thing, too.
Aphrodite: I'm sorry I lied.
Pandora: It's okay. I'm sorry I Wordsworth-ed you.
Aphrodite: We’re going to hug now.
Pandora: Ohhh, no! No, no, that’s okay! I’m not-- no-- [Pandora groans]
Aphrodite: Doesn't that feel better?
Pandora: I mean, I'm pretty sure you crushed three ribs, but, y’know...whatever. [Beat] Aphrodite, I want to fix this, but I'm not gonna stop being friends with Hades, either. You know that, right?
Aphrodite: I figured. I can learn to deal with it. I think. As long as I know we are, y’know...friends.
Pandora: Yeah, Dite. We are.
Aphrodite: Okay. [Beat] Alright, well, do you need to do your radio stuff now? With the, um...dials?
Pandora: Har har. [Aphrodite laughs] Actually, I haven't eaten yet and I am way hungrier than I thought I was. Maybe cause all of my bones have been pulverized. You want to get lunch? I heard the cafeteria has pizza that's barely even soggy today.
Aphrodite: Yeah. I'd like that. [Pause] Are you going to make me check to see if Hera is still around?
Pandora: Yes please.
[[SFX: Door opening]]
Aphrodite: Coast is clear!
Pandora: Okay, thank you!
[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]
Aphrodite: You were really scared weren't you?
Pandora: I mean, yeah, usually I just don’t really know when she’s gonna turn up.
Aphrodite: Ooh did you hear about Carlos in the quad?
[[SFX: Door closing]]
[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]
Raeanna Nicole Larson: Mount Olympus University is an original story conceived and written by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Sound editing done by the intrepid Luuk Van Hoomissen. Our icon was designed by the incomparable Jess Reed. Music by the industrious Teddy McKrell, whose works can be heard on soundcloud under teddymackerel.
The role of Pandora is played by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Aphrodite is played by Sydney Rose Hover.
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[["Medusa" fades out]]
Transcript typed by Jess Reed