[[Theme music "Medusa" plays]]

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[[SFX: Door opening]]

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[Pandora growls]

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[[SFX: Door closing]]

 

[There is a pause]

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[[SFX: Door opening]]

 

Pandora: What the-- HOW CAN YOU WALK AWAY FROM A DOOR AND WALK BACK INTO IT?

 

[Defeated sigh]

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[[SFX: Door closing]]

 

Well...seems I’m cursed or something. I’ve been avoiding this place like the plague since last week’s...incident. But the last few days, it’s like this room has just been appearing in front of me, so...let’s take a hint. YOU HEAR THAT, UNIVERSE? HINT TAKEN! Whatever...hint that is...

 

...No one has come up to me and confessed that they were listening in last time. Which doesn’t convince me no one was listening, by the way. It just tells me that everyone here is a...secretive...liar. Or that I’m paranoid. Neither are particularly conducive to hosting a radio station. So I think it’s just my time to call it quits, I'm going to go home--

 

[[SFX: Door opening]]

 

Aphrodite: Alright, Pandora, I give up. What are you doing in this closet? I saw you sneaking in here and I thought “oh my god, she’s having a romantic rendezvous.” Which, like, I am all in favor of. You know me. But there were no romantic waves coming out of this room, so if you’re just going around sitting in closest, we really ought to talk--

 

[pause]

 

Oh...this isn’t a closet at all...are all these boxes empty?

 

Pandora: A-Aphrodite, what are you doing here?

 

Aphrodite: Um, I told you already, goose. I thought you were sneaking off to meet someone. And you’re so secretive already that I just wanted to investigate, though clearly I was wrong, and you’re just...just, um….Is that a microphone?

 

Pandora: O-oh, it's, um...yeah, it’s--

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Aphrodite: Ohhh, it is! What a cute set up! Panny, are you recording something? A song? Or...[gasps] a poem? Is there a lover after all!?

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Pandora: What? No! Why do you keep guessing that?

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Aphrodite: I dunno. It’s what I know, I-I guess. So then what are you recording?

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Pandora: I'm not recording. It’s, um...this used to be a radio station.

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Aphrodite: A radio show!? That’s so much fun! I didn’t even know we had a college radio!

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Pandora: I mean, technically, we don’t…

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Aphrodite: Are you broadcasting now? Am I interrupting? [gasps] Am I your first guest? [squeals]

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Pandora: ...It sure would seem like it.

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Aphrodite: That’s amazing! Panny, why didn’t you tell me you had a radio show?

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Pandora: Because I don’t, Aphrodite! It’s not anything real, I’ve just been coming in here and messing around.

 

Aphrodite: Aww, I’m sure you’re just not giving yourself enough credit.

 

Pandora: I’m not giving myself any credit! There is nothing to credit!

 

Aphrodite: This is your first time in here?

 

Pandora: No...it’s my third.

 

Aphrodite: That’s more than a lot of people would do. See? Credit!

 

Pandora: I guess?

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Aphrodite: So, that begs the question: why didn’t you tell me?

 

Pandora: That I’ve been hijacking a radio room without permission? Why would I tell you that?

 

Aphrodite: Because we’re friends!

 

Pandora: Well, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not planning on coming back, so--

 

Aphrodite: You know who would love this? Athena. She always has a million announcements to make. I’m sure she would love to be on your show.

 

Pandora: How selective is your hearing?

 

Aphrodite: Very! I mean, if you’ve come here three times to "mess around," you must kind of be having fun, huh?

 

Pandora: It’s...it’s different. I’ve just been blabbing, and I’ve only been doing it because I know no one is listening. It’s not like I have anything people want to hear.

 

Aphrodite: [laughs] Right. Funny, PanPan.

 

Pandora: I’m not being funny-- and how many nicknames do I have now?

 

Aphrodite: Pandora, you’re the school enigma. No one knows anything about you. I’m sure people would tune in just on the off chance they can figure you out.

 

Pandora: ...What? Did you hit your head or something? I heard you trip this morning, but I didn’t think you fell that bad.

 

Aphrodite: What?

 

Pandora: Aphrodite, no one cares about me. I’m no one. Just because you’re overly invested in my life doesn’t mean everyone else is.

 

Aphrodite: I’m just saying: the smart girl who only talks in class and hasn’t shown off her powers yet? People get curious!

 

Pandora: Oh, please. Lots of people don’t show off. I mean, I don’t even know what you do!

 

Aphrodite: Oh my goodness, you don’t? Oh, wow, Panny, I’m sorry! Everyone kind of knows everything about everyone else around here, so I just guessed you knew! [clears her throat] Well, I’m Aphrodite, Patron of Love and Lust.

 

Pandora: ...love and--

 

Aphrodite: --and lust, yes. But I prefer the love part. And I’m better at it.

 

Pandora: So, what? You go around making people fall in love?

 

Aphrodite: Of course not! That would be barbaric. No, I can more...oh, how do I describe it? I never really have to explain it out loud, Panny, this is really putting me in a spot! Umm, I guess I...intensify already existing emotions. Inspire people to make their move and that sort of thing. I guess I sometimes do it without realizing it, but I try to stay very sensible about these things. I’m surprised you didn’t notice! Even if people don’t know, most people sort of feel it, you know?

 

Pandora:  Oooh....So...the people who you are with, are...?

 

Aphrodite: Oh, don’t worry. My powers don’t work on me, silly. I don’t believe in funny business like that. My dates are just responding to my natural charms! [giggles]

 

Pandora: Huh...I am...learning a lot today.

 

Aphrodite: Well, I’m glad that I could share it on your radio show. It was like an educational segment!

 

Pandora: Aphrodite--

 

Aphrodite: I'm just saying, Panny, if you actually went all in on this, I think people would listen. I mean, you would at least have one fan.

 

[pause]

 

...its me. I'd be your fan.

 

Pandora: Yeah, I-I got that, Aphrodite.

 

Aphrodite: [laughs] Oh good!

 

Pandora: Ok, I will...think about it. I mean, I'm sure there is paperwork and a bunch of weird hoops I have to jump through before I can do anything. That’s like the heart of the education system.

 

Aphrodite: Good! I think it's good for you, Panny. I mean I never really see you leave the room except for class and you're always watching movies on your phone and--

 

Pandora: Aaalright, that's enough.

 

Aphrodite: [giggling] Well, if you need help, let me know. For now, I have to go get ready for a date!

 

Pandora: With the same girl from last night?

 

Aphrodite: Who, Daphne? Oh, no, she's busy. I'm going out with Paris tonight.

 

Pandora: ...and Daphne doesn't mind?

 

Aphrodite: Why would she?

 

Pandora: Well…Nope. I'm out of my depth here. Have fun with whats-his-name.

 

Aphrodite: Paris. You'll probably meet him tonight!

 

Pandora: Ohh...probably…

 

Aphrodite: Alright, gotta go. See you later Panny! [blowing a kiss] Mwah!

 

Pandora: Goodbye, Aphrodite.

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[[SFX: Door closing]]

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I suddenly feel like I have a lot in common with towns that have tornadoes sweep through them. Huh...Mount Olympus University Radio…and I'm your host, Pandora. Pandora Wordsworth? Yeah. Probably.

 

Ok, so I'm not saying this is happening but…in another moment of honesty, this is where I have felt the most at home in this weird situation. Which is saying a lot cause I don't think I even felt at home in my house.

 

...so maybe, MAYBE...I will see you next week. Non-existent listeners. Or...future listeners. Whatever. I'm not making any promises, ok? Ok.

 

This is Pandora Wordsworth, signing off.

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[[Theme song begins to fade in]]

 

… Bye.

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[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]

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Raeanna Nicole Larson: Mount Olympus University is an original story conceived and written by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Sound editing done by the intrepid Luuk Van Hoomissen. Our icon was designed by the incomparable Jess Reed. Music by the industrious Teddy McKrell, whose works can be heard on soundcloud under teddymackerel.

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The role of Pandora is played by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Aphrodite is played by Sydney Rose Hover.

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You can send us an email at mtolympusuniversity@gmail.com, or find us on Twitter @MtOlympusU. Please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a comment to help more students find us. 

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[["Medusa" fades out]]