[[Theme music "Medusa" plays]]

 

Aphrodite: ...so, like...do you talk, or…?

 

Pandora: Yuuuup, that’s usually how this works, Aphrodite.

 

[pause]

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Aphrodite: ....so are you gonna, or…?

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Pandora: Ok, it's just, it’s really hard to do with you staring at me, so--

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Aphrodite: Oh! I can look somewhere else!

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Pandora: No, that’s not-- ok, you staring at the ceiling is ten times worse somehow. Hey, [[SFX: Fingers snapping]] eyes back here, please.

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Aphrodite: Sorry! I thought it might help.

 

Pandora: [sighs] Dite, let's just face it. I just don’t know what to do or say or anything. The first time I did it, it was natural, but now I feel like I should say...something. Something important or informative or...just something.

 

Aphrodite: It’s ok, Panny. I didn’t mean to frighten you. Um...Did you get the club forms all filled out yet? You don't have to worry about being official until then!

 

Pandora: Not yet. I mean, I tried, but...not yet.

 

Aphrodite: What happened?

 

Pandora: Well, the instructions I found said to, and I quote: “print this form, fill it out, and then burn it in order to release the ashes into a westerly wind for approval.”

 

Aphrodite: ...did you do that?

 

Pandora: N...no

 

Aphrodite: Why not?

 

Pandora: Well...my first thought was that it sounded crazy. But I now realize that this is pretty par for the course. Is this how you guys do everything around here?

 

Aphrodite: How else would things get done?

 

Pandora: Internet?

 

Aphrodite: [laughs] You’re so funny, Panpan. The winds work just as fast! Come on, let’s turn off the microphone for a little while and work on the papers, that way you don’t have to worry about saying “something”s.

 

Pandora: Right. The microphone. Thing is, I maybe don’t know how to do that?

 

Aphrodite: Huh?

 

Pandora: I’m not wholly entirely sure how to turn the mic off.

 

Aphrodite: Oh! ...That seems super bad for it

 

Pandora: Yeah, no, I’d agree.

 

Aphrodite: Should we figure that out?

 

Pandora: I mean, be my guest.

 

[[SFX: Switches flipping]]

 

Aphrodite: Oh! The light went off!

 

Pandora: How did you do that?

 

Aphrodite: This one! So does the light being off mean the microphone is off?

 

Pandora: I'd assume so!

 

Aphrodite: I did it! I helped!

 

Pandora: [laughs] Yeah, thanks. You know, I swear I tried every switch in here. I must have missed that one.

 

Aphrodite: Well, now that we are “off the air,” as they say, we should figure out what exactly Pandora Wordsworth’s radio show is.

 

Pandora: Mmmmm, awkward silences and dead air.

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Aphrodite: No, no, no. You’re such a pessimist, Panny!

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Pandora: It's genetic. Hey, can I ask you a question?

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Aphrodite: Oh no, do you want to go out with me?

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Pandora: Wh-- no, super not that.

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Aphrodite: Oh, good. I mean, no offense Panny, you're super cute, but I'm not sure how us being roommates and you soaking in my powers every day really works, so I would be worried that it was just a response to sustained love magic exposure.

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Pandora: Ok, well...that...is super alarming, let's put a pin in that and come back to it. But no, at this moment, I was wondering if you know anything about a girl named Hera?

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Aphrodite: Hera?

 

Pandora: Yeah. I mean, you've probably noticed her. She's a sophomore, like seven feet tall. Either looks like she's going to a gala or a gym at all times--

 

Aphrodite: Why?

 

Pandora: Well, I feel like I keep catching her glaring at me. At first I thought it was just her face, but now I'm pretty sure she is purposefully shooting daggers at me. It's just weird cause I've never even spoken to her and...why do you look like that? You’re doing that pinched-face thing.

 

Aphrodite: What thing?

 

Pandora: The thing you do when you are trying not to blurt something out. What do you know?

 

Aphrodite: ...Oh, Panny, this is bad! Hera never forgets anything and if she doesn't like you, this is bad!

 

Pandora: What? How can she not like me? I've never even breathed on her! Why would I? She's terrifying.

 

Aphrodite: Oh, Panny, it's not your fault! It's just because...well, she's Zeus’s girlfriend.

 

Pandora: ...I'm sorry, he has a girlfriend? How? Is he aware of this?

 

Aphrodite: You know, actually, I think he forgets a lot.

 

Pandora: Wait wait wait-- so she's mad at me cause he has been harassing me?

 

Aphrodite: I'm sure she doesn't see it that way. She's just not very rational in these things.

 

Pandora: I mean, I have to assume since she's dating that. On purpose. ...So what is she going to do? Is she going to fight me or something? I am not strong, Dite, and she looks like she can bench press a bus. I will not survive!

 

Aphrodite: Just try to stay out of her way. I know you don't like Zeus, but if you try to tell her that, she will just see it as denial. So, don't engage and run away! You love that!

 

Pandora: [groans] I can’t believe my first ever rival is over a guy I hate. How is she not mad at him instead?

 

Aphrodite: Oh, she is. She practically hates him at this point....It’s way complicated.

 

Pandora: No kidding. Wow. [sighs] Well, on the bright side, running a radio station seems a lot less daunting now that I’m having a face off with my own mortality.

 

Aphrodite: That’s the spirit!  

 

Pandora: [laughs] Yeah, well...let's get out of here. We can figure all this radio stuff out another time. I'm not really focused now that I know the queen of Mount Olympus University has the very wrong impression of me. I feel like I should at least eat before the possibility of surrender, you know?

 

Aphrodite: Do you want to go to the cafeteria? They have burritos for lunch!

 

Pandora: Are they any good?

 

Aphrodite: Oh, no!

 

Pandora: ...Burritos it is.

 

Aphrodite: Do you think Carlos is around? I think he's sort of cute!

 

[[theme song begins to play]]

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Pandora: I...will never get you.

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[Aphrodite laughs]

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[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]

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Raeanna Nicole Larson: Mount Olympus University is an original story conceived and written by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Sound editing done by the intrepid Luuk Van Hoomissen. Our icon was designed by the incomparable Jess Reed. Music by the industrious Teddy McKrell, whose works can be heard on soundcloud under teddymackerel.

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The role of Pandora is played by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Aphrodite is played by Sydney Rose Hover.

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You can send us an email at mtolympusuniversity@gmail.com, or find us on Twitter @MtOlympusU. Please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a comment to help more students find us. 

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[["Medusa" fades out]]