[[Theme music "Medusa" plays]]

 

Pandora: Hey! It’s me. I’m back. Back to...dreadfully unprofessional openings. No one ever thinks about how radio shows start until they have to do it themselves. Aphrodite suggested sound effects, but that’s not exactly the vibe I’m going for here. I’m aiming for a little past ‘morning radio extravaganza.’

 

I’m feeling better about all of this since last week. Not because I have any more clarity in what I’m doing; I definitely don’t. But last week it seemed like this huge, all encompassing...thing...that I had to defeat or something. Now, it just looks like a challenge. Challenges are less scary than "thing"s because they have a name, you know? Right?

 

...it’s definitely weird that Aphrodite thought I had a gift for this. Talking has never been my specialty outside of stream-of-consciousness. Maybe I just need to lean into that. I had an idea of doing a sort of research-heavy educational show but, uh...I floated that idea by my aforementioned roommate and she started falling asleep at the concept. So probably not. My passion for school continues to be a novelty.  

 

I could keep talking about how weir-- eccentric this school is, but I don’t know if this broadcasts anywhere outside of Mount Olympus University, which means the only people listening are the people who already know what’s going on around here. So I’m not sold on that.

 

...Huh. What was I saying about feeling less insecure?

 

[clears throat]

 

Well, uh, anyway, maybe I should read some announcements--

 

Athena: CEASE AND DESIST!

 

Pandora: [overlapping] OH MY GOD!

 

Athena: I’m going to need you to stop these activities!

 

Pandora: [breathing heavily] Oh my god, you scared the-- did you just literally kick the door open? Why does no one knock around here?

 

Athena: It’s a public space. I’m not required to knock.

 

Pandora: Touche. Got my attention. Um...you’re Athena.

 

Athena: I see my reputation precedes me.

 

Pandora: I mean, you’re the only person here with the, um...the mohawk, so, uh, kind of a giveaway.

 

Athena: A reputation is a reputation.

 

Pandora:  I guess....oh, wait, I might have blacked out as a fear response. Did you say you were shutting me down?

 

Athena: I did.

 

Pandora: Ok….why?

 

Athena: Because this is not a school sanctioned activity happening right now.

 

Pandora: I’m sorry?

 

Athena: In MOU history, the school radio was used for the radio club, not for independent purposes. As you have not officially created a club, I can only determined that this is a misuse of school property, and therefore it is my duty to intervene as one of the most dedicated students of Mount Olympus University.

 

Pandora: ...you must be real fun at parties.

 

Athena: Laugh it up, but I’m serious. There’s a reason things are done the way we do them. With my skill for advanced procedurals, I can see that.

 

Pandora: Oooh, that’s right, your power is like...super-strategy! Which is...fun?

 

Athena: Hey, I know it’s not as much of a spectacle as farting storm clouds or whatever, but it’s just as good as all those other lousy powers, alright?

 

Pandora: I didn’t say it wasn’t.

 

Athena: Good.

 

Pandora: I’m still not sure that gives you the power to throw me out, though.

 

Athena: [sighs] I may not be campus security or anything, but I am undoubtedly the authority on this subject. I’m a member of the student council, which at least gives me the right to warn you of your breach. And anyone will tell you I know more about school-sanctioned clubs than anyone at this school ever has.

 

Pandora: ...why would they tell me that?

 

Athena: Glad you asked!

 

[[SFX: Papers shuffling and being handed over]]

 

Look at this and reach your own conclusions.

​

Pandora: ...is this your resume? I didn’t even see you take this out-- do you just always have this on you?

 

Athena: Just-- read it.

 

Pandora: [sighs] Archery club president, chess club president, math club president, drama club president… president, president, president… [[SFX: Page turning]] Model UN president, aaaand...vice president of the equestrian club. What happened with the equestrian club?

 

Athena: ...Poseidon got there first.

 

Pandora: Really? I never would have pegged horses as Poseidon’s thing.

 

Athena: Anyway, are there any questions now?

 

Pandora: Yeah, when do you sleep?

 

Athena: People like me only need a solid three hours if you really think about it and strategize your caffeine intake.

 

Pandora: Woah. That explains a lot about…this. Is that how you keep your mohawk so tall? Pure adrenaline?

 

Athena: I’ll have you know that I do this because a club needs a leader, but people just want to join clubs and not be responsible for them. It’s a job no one else wants!

 

Pandora: Except for the equestrian club?

​

Athena: This is-- not about that! This may be hard for you to understand, but I care about this school. And that’s why I see it as my duty to make sure things are done the right way!

 

Pandora: Athena--

 

Athena: I’m sure everyone would think it was sooo fun and sooo easy to just do what they want all the time, like the way the nymphs and Dionysus think they own the quad and make faces at me when I tell them they have to leave a path--

 

Pandora: Athena--

 

Athena: --but they don’t see the flow of the educational system the way I do. And even if you think you care about this radio station, if you don’t care enough to do things right then well I just--

 

Pandora: ATHENA. [[SFX: Paper shuffling]] Here.

 

Athena: ...this is…

 

Pandora: It’s a copy of the club form I filled out a week ago. The original was burned and the ashes scattered to the west, because...well, there’s not enough time in the world to begin to unpack that, but I figured I would make a copy just in case that didn’t work. Because it really should not work. I got an email saying the process had started days ago, and I guess I just got ahead of myself coming in here. If you want to take that to the office and tell them to pick things up, you can.

 

Athena: I...may just do that.

 

Pandora: Cool. And by next week, should be good, yeah?

 

Athena: …why didn’t you just show me this at the beginning?  

 

Pandora: I just got in the middle of it so fast. Had to ride that wave the rest of the way back to shore.

 

Athena: You thought it was a joke?

 

Pandora: It was bemusement, more than anything. Look, it’s cool that you care. That’s a good thing. It can be hard for m-- for people to show that they care about anything. Just maybe like...take a nap once in awhile?

 

Athena: What, with this new club to process? Not a chance.

 

Pandora: Worth a shot.

 

Athena: Well...thank you for the form...Pandora. [pause] Will you be needing a president?

 

Pandora: Nope, no, got it covered.

 

Athena: Oohhh, fine. 

 

Pandora: Oh, hey, can you at least close the-- no? Ok, that’s fine...just crane kicking the door open and then didn’t close it…

 

[[SFX: Hoofbeats]]

 

Hey- hey, Carlos! Carlos the Minotaur! Can you please keep people from bursting in here while you’re doing all that wandering around? Just tack that onto your daily tasks? No? Is that a no? [sighs.] Guess I’ll get my own door.

​

[[Theme song "Medusa" plays]]

​

Raeanna Nicole Larson: Mount Olympus University is an original story conceived and written by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Sound editing done by the intrepid Luuk Van Hoomissen. Our icon was designed by the incomparable Jess Reed. Music by the industrious Teddy McKrell, whose works can be heard on soundcloud under teddymackerel.

​

The role of Pandora is played by Raeanna Nicole Larson. Athena is played by Jess Reed.

​

You can send us an email at mtolympusuniversity@gmail.com, or find us on Twitter @MtOlympusU. Please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving a comment to help more students find us. 

​

[["Medusa" fades out]]